Friday, October 28, 2005

Paperwork

I found this strange "questionnaire" among the paperwork I was given. I'm not too good with this whole base 10 thing but most of the forms seem to be in other bases so I'm ok.

10 years ago I was:
passed on
no more
ceased to be
expired
gone to meet the Force

5 years ago I was:
a stiff
bereft of life
I rested in peace
pushing up the daisies
my metabolic processes were history

1 year ago I was:
off the twig
kicked the bucket
shuffled off my mortal coil
run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile
I was an ex-jedi

Yesterday I was:
Filling out forms
Developing carpal tunnel syndrome
filling the ice bucket
developing frostbite
filling the ice bucket with warm water

5 snacks I enjoy the most:
Mt. Dew
cold brussel sprouts
Mt. Dew
gummy bears
Mt. Dew
oreos
Mt. Dew
pop tarts
did I mention Mt. Dew?

5 songs I know all the words to:
Living Dead Girl
Pinball Wizard
Voodoo
I Will Survive
The Logical Song

5 ideal places to run away to:
Lordaeron
Veronaville
Reach
Arrakis
Kentarres IV

5 items you will never see me wear:
PVC (saw waaaaaaayyyyyyyy too much of that during my days as a groupie)
barbed wire (too scratchy)
restaurant placemats (last time I took a dare... in public)
jewelry (too likely to get caught on... stuff)
shorts

5 biggest joys in my life:
War Craft III
Halo
Sims 2
Warcraft IV
Command and Conquer
and Qui-Gon's on there somewhere

5 favorite toys:
PC
Playstation
X-Box
Gamecube
nintendo
(or does Qui-Gon belong on this list?)

Tagged(don't know anyone with a blog who hasn't been hit):
Clee
Anoon Bondara
Adi Gallia
Luminara Unduli
Ali Alann

T 4 1-1 1_ out

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Portals and Hermit Crabs

I went to visit the crabby Jedi. First he had me wait in this room with a group of Yoda-sized people and a kid. They were talking about some dude named Napoleon and hermit crabs. I waited for half an eternity before I finally got a receptionist.

Receptionist: Do you have an appointment?

Me: Since when do Jedi have receptionists?

Recptionist: Since they started paying more than minimum wage. Do you have an appointment?

Me: Maybe.

Recptionist: I can schedule one for yesterday.

Me: Can you schedule one for half an eternity ago?

Receptionist: Just a minute.

Then that classical music you hear when you're on hold started playing all around.

Receptionist: I can get you in at one am on Monday or 11 pm on Tuesday.

Me: Okay. What do I need to bring?

Receptionist: Five unmatched socks from beyond the void.

Me: Huh?

Recptionist: And a sack lunch.

Then she handed me this huge stack of papers.

Receptionist: And you need to fill these out.

Me: huh?

Receptionist: that doesn't make you sound any more intelligent.

Me: I can't hear you over the muzak.

I ended up leaving with the stack of papers and directions to the void of lost socks. Muzak and paperwork. It's as if the Sith have taken over my corner of the afterlife.

T 4 1-1 1_ out